Tag: self image

Self-care: 6 ways to take care of yourself

Self-care is highly essential since we all want to look and feel good. Self-care is about taking care of our mental, emotional, and physical health.

There are many ways that we can take care of ourselves; the best place to start is by finding positive ways to change our mindset. You cannot control your whole being if you are not in control of your thoughts and emotions.

We all get busy working, taking care of our homes, cars, children, pets or family members, but so often we forget about ourselves. It is always good to help others, but we are not truly helping them if we do not start with ourselves. To give the best to people, we have to start by providing the best to ourselves.

Many people may view this as selfish; however, the more you fill yourself up, the more you will be in a better position to help and support others. One of the best relationships that you can invest in is certainly with yourself – that’s the foundation of building relationships. If you do not understand yourself, it will be difficult to understand others.

It’s essential to learn to trust our emotions, as it helps us to detect if something is right or wrong. Trusting your emotions will save you from a lot of misery; it is also the initial step of beginning a relationship with yourself.

Six ways to take care of yourself

1. Be kinder to yourself

We often want to treat others with love and respect, but often don’t apply the same principle to ourselves. One of the best ways to be kinder to yourself is by treating yourself as your own best friend.

2. Ask yourself what you need

You can begin to treat yourself with extra care by asking yourself what you need on a daily basis. This may include;

  • more sleep
  • a healthier diet
  • exercise
  • rest
  • taking regular breaks at work
  • me-time
  • time with family and friends
  • a holiday
  • losing weight or improving your appearance

One of the best ways to provide what you need is by allowing yourself to be more vulnerable to your emotional needs.

3. Listen to your body

Our bodies are designed to help us to detect signs of illness by analysing any pain that we may feel in our bodies. If your body is telling you to rest or eat, it’s essential to listen to those warning signs, as ignoring symptoms could lead to serious consequences and illness that can be avoided in the initial stages.

4. Be more assertive

When you are always saying yes to commitments or demands, even when you’re tired or you don’t feel like doing what others want you to do, it’s essential to be honest with yourself and others so that you are not doing things to make others happy but are at the same time making you miserable. Learn to say no when necessary.

5. Have some time alone

Spending time alone is a healthy way of relaxing, connecting with yourself and being comfortable with who you are. Whether you are single or not, the relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you can invest in. It helps you to understand and get to know who you are. Self-awareness is a journey, and the more you take time out to enjoy yourself, you will discover deeper things about yourself.

6. Boundaries

Life is all about boundaries and self-control. If you believe that you don’t have boundaries with food, money, or authoritative figures, then it will affect your choices. For instance, if you have committed to going to the gym three times a week, then you need to develop self boundaries so you are committed to the decisions and choices that you make.

Low self-esteem and relationships

Most people who have experienced abuse, neglect, abandonment and rejection, often attract spouses in relationships who often reinforce the emotions that are associated with these experiences.

These individuals unconsciously work hard in relationships by trying to please their spouse in exchange for attention, recognition, acceptance, and more importantly love. If you have work hard for love, you will continue working hard in need to gain love.

When a person’s esteem is low, they often attract partners who have low self-concept, which keeps the negative cycle going.

Women with low self esteem, are more likely to be drawn to spouses whose character resembles their fathers, particularly if their fathers were abusive, emotionally unavailable, didn’t love them or value them when growing up.

When you put people on a paddle stall, you tend to always look up to them and in response; they will always look down at you.

Sometimes women use make up and clothes to attract the opposite sex, unconsciously in exchange for love. When they don’t get the attention they need, they often wonder if there is something wrong with them.

They may even view sex as love, and have casual relationships in exchange for love.

If your esteem is low, you’re likely to settle for less, and never ask for what you want within relationships.

Low self-concept, demonstrates neediness, desperation and anxiety within relationships, which can be unappealing regardless of how attractive you are.

If you don’t love yourself, why should someone else love what you don’t love?

A person with low self-esteem often puts their spouse’s needs before their own, which could cause to anger and resentment.

Desperate and broken women attract desperate and broken men.

Many people are struggling with issues associated with their childhood and not taking responsibility for the damage, pain, and disappointments that they have experienced when growing up. Some look for others to fix them by jumping from one relationship to the next, only to realise the negative emotions and pain still remains as they unconsciously hold on to blame, pain and unforgiveness from the past.

Sometimes, a person can spend a lot of time being angry and blame others for how they feel. They may feel devalued, as they have valued others more. It is painful, when you don’t receive what you invest in others. However, it is worth taking time to explore the emotions that are hidden behind the anger, which could be: rejection, abandonment or hurt.

When you take the time to dig deeper, you may realise that this anger may have manifested from your childhood and have been buried. Hence, when triggered, you feel rejection, abandonment, pain and hurt.

Over coming low self esteem

You will attract emotionally balanced individuals when you’re balanced and whole within yourself.

It is important to understand your purpose in life and have a vision, this gives you a direction and hope, even when things are not the way you want it in the moment.

Have quality ‘me-time’ on a regular basis, this helps you to connect and nurture yourself.

Read more books, knowledge is power.

Make more positive and supportive friends, who have similar interest to you.

Learn to forgive others, even when it is difficult.

Take care of your self-image.

Find someone you trust to share your problems with, so you can off load.

Take responsibility for your happiness

Do things that you enjoy.

Be your own best friend.

Try new things to come out of your comfort zone.

Utilize your skills and strengths that you have.

Learn positive things in every negative situation

No matter what, never give up.

How to avoid low esteem

• Always value yourself, if you don’t then no one else will.

• The only person that is responsible for creating your destiny is you, and no one else; so you can’t expect other people to make you happy, if you are not happy with yourself.

• You can’t truly love or receive love without falling in love with who you really are.

• Improve your esteem by treating yourself as you would treat a valued friend.

• Learn to identify your full potential, and your purpose in life. (learn to focus on your strengths and work on areas of development).

• Setting goals gives you a purpose, vision and direction in life. You can do one thing daily towards your desired goal.

• Take care of yourself by, exercising, having a balanced diet and getting enough rest.

• Be conscious of what you feed your mind with.

• Be aware of what you focus your time, money and energy on. It is mostly positive or negative?

• Stop trying to please people; it is not good for your emotional well-being and you can never please everyone, even if you tried to.

• Be positive, negative energy can be draining.

• Enjoy your hobbies

• Consistency is the key to success.

• Challenges are part of life. It helps to develop your character, grow and come out of your comfort zone.

• There is nothing wrong with making mistakes, but avoid making the same mistakes over and over again. If something you are doing is not working, then you must learn to do things differently.

• Create time to nurture yourself , even if you have a busy schedule.

• Learn to give yourself, what you desperately need from others (LOVE)

Never ever give up on yourself.